Wouldn’t it be great to be a child again and not have to deal with stress? As adults we often fantasize about being a child again. Sometimes it seems like stress is coming at us from all directions — work, bills, social commitments — there are many sources of stress for adults. Childhood is a brief and special period when we are innocent and free from stress and responsibilities, or is it?
The truth is, children have stress too. There are more stressors for children in today’s fast-paced society than there has ever been, yet parents often dismiss the stress that their children feel. Adults see the issues that cause a child’s stress as insignificant; however, they are not insignificant to the children who are dealing with them.
Why Do Kids Feel Stressed Out?
If we think back to when we were children, we can probably remember times when we experienced stress. Maybe we had to deal with a bully at school or an unfair teacher. Perhaps we had a big project at school that we weren’t sure we would be able to finish on time. Children today go through these types of things as well.
Another possible source of stress for children is home life. When their parents come home from work feeling stressed out, it has an impact on their children as well. If Mom and Dad argue about bills and finance, the stress makes children feel unsafe and unstable. This can manifest in lots of ways–stomach aches, nail biting, bed wetting, headaches, acting out. Overachieving parents add to their children’s stress by imposing great expectations on their children, who may lack their parents’ motivation or capabilities. Parents who push their children to excel in sports or who enroll them in too many activities can cause stress and frustration if their children don’t share their goals.
Siblings can also be a cause of anxiety. Sibling rivalry can be brutal especially if siblings don’t respect each other’s space and possessions. School-age children often have a strong concept of fairness and equality, so they might feel like one child gets preferential treatment or not understand why siblings of other ages are treated differently.
Children today have numerous academic and social pressures, not to mention the ever-present quest to fit in. In addition, they are expected to learn more at a younger age in school, and to participate in more extracurricular activities. It’s good for them to learn and be active, but they need time for creative play and relaxation.
How Can I Help My Child When He Is Stressed?
Kids often avoid talking to parents about the things that cause them stress. Still, there is a lot we can do to help them –
Talk to your child each and every day about how things are going. Ask open-ended questions about school, activities and friends. If he seems upset, ask him what’s bothering him. You’ll be surprised how much you will learn just by asking.
When your child tells you about something that is bothering him, try to help him figure out how to fix it. Provide minimal guidance and suggestions, and try to let him think of solutions on his own.
Adjust your child’s schedule if it will help. If he is participating in several sports, taking piano classes, and trying to keep up with his schoolwork, it may be too much for him. Work together to decide which things are worth continuing and which ones to drop.
Children may not face the same sources of stress as adults, but they do get stressed out sometimes. It is a parent’s job to help children learn to deal with stress in productive ways, and to eliminate stressors that are avoidable. Kids who learn to cope with stress effectively are happier and healthier, and they are less likely to suffer ill effects from stress as adults.
As adults we often do look back on childhood as being relatively stress-free but truth is it probably wasn’t and the way we deal with stress as kids has a big impact on the rest of our lives. That’s why we all have a responsibility to help children develop the ability to manage stress well. These are valuable tips.
Robert
Robert@MindPowerMarketings last blog post..The One Way To Get Others To Do What You Want
This 3 year old child has a person in his life that he knows as “daddy” and now his biological father is back in his life after a year, and is telling him that HE is his dad, not whom he knows as dad. It is upsetting him and I think that he is showing signs of stress.
Mohan Tarnejas last blog post..this is Really Scary.not 4 minors
Children do indeed have stress too, of course they do. That shy child who is feeling anxious before they go to their first day at a new activity, they have stressed about it. they stress about school, they stress about all sorts of things. They main thing a parent can do is to simply reassure the child and make them feel safe, but whilst being firm also.
Encourage children to participate in physical activity. Physical activity reduces stress and helps maintain a healthy balance between mind and body.
monika invites you to read . . . Preliminary Results of Happiest Baby on the Block Retrospective Post-Test Surveys- FY- 2009 – 2010
I can relate to many of those situations when I was a child. I recall getting very stressed over little things when I was just in the first grade. A lot of it was a combination of stress and anxiety. I still remember to this day, how helpless and horrible it felt when I was experiencing these moments. I definitely hope to help my children avoid these experiences in the future. My children are both under 3 years of age, and I wonder when is a good time to begin dealing with these issues or at least preparing for them?