Throughout your life you may have received an unusual amount of criticism because of your – optimism!

You may even have been criticized simply for the happy look on your face! Yes, it seems that being optimistic doesn’t set well with some people, even if you don’t open your mouth. A friend once made the observation that optimism isn’t a feeling – it’s an attitude – a choice we make. When we are in adverse situations we have a choice – we can be sad and despairing, and fall into negativity, or we can recognize that lessons, even the hard ones, can work for good in our lives.

Growing garlic is a great example! Think about the garlic clove for a moment. The clove gets buried in the cold ground in the Fall and then sits there in the dark. I don’t know if it knows that it’s going to grow in the Spring, but there it sits, alone in the cold and dark all Winter. For months! Then, at just the right time, it pushes its way up through that cold, dark earth and grows into the light and warmth of Spring.

The symbolism is obvious. Because we are beings with the capacity for choice, we can remember that cold and dark are not forever, and that no matter how we feel at any given moment, no matter how glum the news on TV, no matter the wars, disease and suffering around the world, we can choose to be strong and powerful, and grow into the light.

We can choose to see the glass as being half full instead of seeing it as half empty! And, if we think about it, whether the glass is half full or half empty, we will still be able to have a drink. How much we enjoy that drink, however, may depend on how we choose to see it. We have the ability to activate that choice.

No matter how dark it may be, no matter the illness or loss, no matter the job market or the terrible sermon at church, no matter the grade in a particular subject, we always have the option to choose our attitude to it.  Responding in a positive way in the middle of adversity is optimism – we choose to remember that there are still good things happening, we choose to know we are part of that greater good and that we are still growing into the light!

Over the years it has become clear that imbalance in the spiritual life provokes imbalance and dis-ease in other areas of our relationships and in life in general. It would be great if all of us could be totally alive! But what does that mean?

What does being fully alive suggest to you? Several people were asked what it means to them to be wholly alive. Only one person was able to put it into words. Everyone else had an especially awkward time almost as though they don’t think it’s possible, or that it’s something to which they’ve never given any thought!

When we study people, we can ascertain from their behavior, their lack of energy for life, and their lack of fascination for whatever is going on, that they’re bored, exhausted, have a sense of hopelessness, or are having some kind of physical or emotional dilemma. We can tell that something is off.

It’s also simple to tell when someone is feeling totally alive – they exude well-being and sparkle, and seem to be wholly present and engaged in the here and now.

We now know that our emotions, whether constructive or unenthusiastic, affect us at the cellular level. And we may also know that we can opt which thoughts and emotions we wish to cultivate. But when our lives lack stability and we’re dealing with a profession that’s not right for us, interactions that tear us down, the inability to get on, and stay on task with a healthy eating routine, a work out program, reflection, or our relationship and connection with God or Source, we may begin to feel annoyed, bored, and dull, or find ourselves irritated or depressed without even knowing why.

But when we give thought to the subtle messages from our body, mind, and spirit, and move toward meaningful occupation, wholesome living, caring relationships, and development in our spiritual lives, the possibility of being totally alive becomes a reality. It’s true that no one lives in an enduring state of equilibrium.

Finding our balance, after all, calls for continual adjustment to what we perceive and come into contact with. On every occasion when we see ourselves finding ours lives less than completely alive, we may want to assess the kinds of decisions we are making, the types of thoughts and emotions we’re fostering, and whether or not we’re living in alignment with our truest self.

One of the biblical scriptures that can be very meaningful and helpful is found in Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy think on these things! (NASB)

A great solution that encourages being completely alive!

It’s not hard to find conflict. In fact, conflict will find you. The world we live in, and even some of our own family members and friends, churches, workplaces, and communities, are often in conflict.

The conflict may be minor and easily resolved, but some may be facing major, and even life-threatening, conflict. On the spiritual path, we sometimes hear it said that we are supposed to embrace conflict. What does that mean, and how can we embrace conflict and still be safe, happy, and sane?

A book entitled, The I of the Storm has a chapter titled “Making Friends With Conflict” and is, as the title suggests, about various aspects of conflict and how it can benefit us by helping us to direct our growth, and enhancing our awareness of our inner condition.

You may at first find yourself reacting unusually strongly when the subject of defensiveness comes up. If so, you’ll find these words especially enlightening: “To give up being defensive in the presence of a threat is not easy.  Something must change in how you see the situation and what you make it mean. The first step in making friends with conflict is in understanding what conflict is so the energy of conflict can be directed into positive avenues of understanding, healing, and spiritual growth.”

Change affects people in different ways.  Often there is resistance, argument, or disagreement over the way change should be brought about.  Defensiveness then raises its head, creating conflict.

However, embracing conflict, or making friends with it, can mean the beginning of the creative process. Conflict has the potential to open the door to healing and understanding, and consequently, to the spiritual growth of which Simmons speaks. If handled thoughtfully, it can lead to discussion, and hopefully, to appreciation of other viewpoints, even as it brings us to the edge of our own abilities and resources.

As we allow ourselves to look at what is really happening in the conflicted situation and change our perception of it – to see it with different eyes – we will begin to understand how conflict has the potential to be the catalyst for creative change.

When we remember our worth as spiritual beings, we can face, and yes, embrace conflict as an agent of growth and change. To experience conflict does not mean that we are somehow diminished, but rather that we are normal! If we can allow our resistance to melt, look the conflict square in the eyes, relax, and commit ourselves to recognizing the value of different viewpoints, we may find opportunity for creative inner growth.

We have the energy and power of Spirit residing within us – its resources are always available to us – but we need to remember to draw on those resources, especially when we are experiencing conflict.

During the holidays, it’s customary to turn into a glutton. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we eat enough to carry us over to Independence Day. After the food fest – guilt and shame. Rumi rejoiced in love – love of the Divine, love of intimate friendship, and the love of life in general – and love of food! Here’s one of his personal practices.

In Rumi’s Four Essential Practices: Ecstatic Body, Awakened Soul, by Will Johnson, he shares:

From its range of tastes, smells, and the flavors that ensue, to its ability to transform the discomforting signals of hunger into sensations of satiety, food gives us pleasure. The preparation of food, the sharing of it with others, the sitting down to eat it – all of it gives us pleasure. After all, we don’t eat to be sad; we eat and drink to be merry, and so whenever humans gather together to celebrate, they most often do so around a table of delicious and carefully prepared food and drink. Food gives us pleasure, but it also gives us problems. Rumi would never ask us to forego the pleasure of the food we eat. . . Beyond the pleasure of the chocolate in the mouth ( and yes, it is pleasurable), there’s an even greater pleasure to be found, Rumi tells us, and that pleasure arises though fasting.

Author Will Johnson shares with us that Rumi’s idea of fasting can include the practice of choosing to eat less. Studies show that regularly eating less leads to a longer, healthier life — as well as weight loss. Conscious eating means less time preparing meals, less indigestion, and more time to meditate on the abundance the Universe has given us.

Besides continuing to make mindful choices about what you will eat, you might decide to try a new way of eating. Prepare balanced meals with sufficient portions for two meals from that same menu, portion it and then beautifully arrange the food on dessert plates rather than dinner plates! Then take about 20 minutes or so to eat, put everything away in attractive glass storage containers.

After a few meals in this fashion, you may find you are satisfied with the smaller servings and – with the practice of eating less. You may also find greater joy than ever in the preparation of these meals and gratitude for the abundance you enjoy – while eating less. You might even lose some excess weight over time too. Whether as a spiritual practice or as a weight management strategy, consciously eating less can be very beneficial for you!

The world continues to turn despite the conflicted political scene, the economy still not on it’s feet, and having to deal with our own issues. We may be feeling stretched to our limit and unable to cope with the stress of daily life.  No one has all the answers!  However, I hope what I share today will bring a smile to your face and lift your heart a bit.

Ahhh, Adversity!

There are many different kinds of adversity.  Some are so serious we don’t know how we will survive, but usually, along with the help of our wider network of friends and family, we do.   Some of the challenges that feel like they could drive us to the brink of insanity; however, are those little things that accumulate and just keep coming at us over and over again.

How to deal?  Here are some specific things that have successfully lightened the load in the past for others.  See if any of them resonate with you:

Laugh very heartily – if you need to, go out of your way to find something funny. I highly recommend it!  Perhaps you can think of a time when some situation was terribly comical and allow yourself to laugh out loud about it again now – preferably till it brings tears to your eyes.  Such a relief!

Find something to be passionate about.  Get involved with a particular activity, on purpose, that creates in you a passion – a mission of sorts – into your life.  The joy of watching it come to fruition will be an almost vaccination-like effect against seemingly negative events.  What could you become so passionate about that it shuts out less desirable input?  You will find it to be almost shocking when someone asks you what I think about “that news report” and you realize you have no idea what they are talking about!

With a close friend, devote ½ hour minimum every day to a spiritual practice that you both enjoy.  You may think you’ll only do it for a week, days can easily turn into weeks!  The push and shove of daily life can sometimes squeeze good habits out of our lives, but returning to a regular spiritual practice can become a huge uplift to your souls. You may well look forward to that ½ hour every day with delight and anticipation.

I hope these good words and suggestions give you some extra coping energy and lift your spirit!

To begin understanding spiritual guidance, you must first understand that each and every one of us needs to humble ourselves if we’re going to ever learn anything. When the topic is as deep and thorough as spirituality, you’ll have to come with an empty cup that is only ready to be filled. Otherwise, you will find your journey might be a very difficult and time consuming process, yielding very little results for you – whatever you may consider and define your personal results to be.

I’m going to use a movie reference here to help describe what I am saying. In the movie, “Avatar,” Jake Sully was sent to learn the ways of the Navi. In his studies, he was told that they weren’t able to teach others of his kind because they always come with a full cup. Jake was not a scientist, and thus, he didn’t have much in his cup to begin with. Because of that, he was able to quickly and easily learn the ways of the natives because he didn’t have any previous knowledge holding him back in his studies.

If you want to understand spiritual guidance better, the only way you will be able to do that is by starting with an empty cup. If you come in only considering the possibilities, thoughts, questions and concerns of your previous ways, teachings or followings, you’ll never be able to learn fully from your teacher, or whichever method you prefer to further your knowledge regarding spirituality.

In several teachings, you are required to start learning as a child, so that you can fully immerse yourself in the knowledge and not “fight” the process. Just let it happen. You can’t rush spirituality. That’s one thing that everyone agrees on. However, when you’re trying to further your knowledge and understanding of it, you’ll constantly feel the urge to rush it. It just can’t be done. Just let it flow. Everything will come to you when you’re ready for it to come. Just like the old saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

Your teacher can guide you to the ways of understanding, but not make you understand. You have to do that on your own. This does not mean that your teacher isn’t good enough to be teaching you – there’s a reason that you came to this person for a better understanding of spiritual guidance, rather than the other way around. You just have to find your spirituality yourself through the guidance of a teacher.

Learn to be and stay humble. Never take anything you learn, have, or experience for granted. Sometimes you must experience long periods of no success before you can finally experience the glorious feeling of success. Let your teacher guide you through your journey of finding spirituality.